What does it mean to be a victim?

My niece came to visit about six months ago asking to talk with her half brother and sister. Her sister stays with me. She's fourteen years old about the same age she was when her step-dad, my brother started sexually abusing her. It didn't seem at the time he was. All appeared as if my step-niece was promiscuous with boys her own age. It appeared that my brother wasn't able to help her. I thought however he's going to help her will take time. I thought talking to the boy's mom would help but I really didn't know what was happening to her at home.

About three years ago she was arrested for drug trafficking while my brother her step-dad was being sentenced. She was sixteen when she reported my brother and is now twenty-one. My brother will be out of jail in eleven months. My step-niece was told that the only way she could see her sister was with a therapist present. It's taken all these five years for the truth to come out.The children and of course myself have thought deeply about this situation.

It may appear clear to outsiders that we don't want her to be with her sister; however, there is more to this story then they understand. I've told my step-niece that I do not blame her nor have I ever. I told her I just want her to understand that she did something to protect another man. This man was a medicine man, or actor, or pervert acting like he was good. This man walked right into my brother's home.

My brother's twisted mind thought this medicine man was trying to help him.The medicine man told me my brother was very bad. Nothing more with the exception of my step-niece claiming this medicine man was constantly trying to be with her at activities like taking her to a concert. This struck me as oddsince he was also old enough to be her father.

It appears from all account from her that this man, NCH Chasing Horse had sexual intercourse with her. This medicine man would have my entire community believe that it was just my brother who had sex with her. From all accounts the medicine man's plans would have worked if not for the chance that my brother continued to have sex with his step-niece. The plan was that should my brother dedicate his life to the ways of the Sundance and Sweat lodge that meant following NCH Chasing Horse. My brother already raised about $50,000.00(approximately) towards NCH's way of life. NCH had a lot to lose if my brother decided not to follow him or his stepdaughter.

When NCH came to me he appeared determined to help my brother in all things. NCH spent all of his nights over there at my brothers. For months NCH knew my brother's secret and it seems from all the accounts from both my brother and my step-niece he was trying to them help them both. For my nieces he thought he loved her and had sex with only her and for my brother he thought he would gain much power over his way of life.

When this way of life then come immediately this is when NCH, who was inconstant contact with my step-niece via her cell phone told her to report my brother. She thought at the time she would be taken away as his wife as he had promised her. Instead, she was taken into our provincial child care until she was eighteen. She did try to go to him by associating herself with my other niece. This niece still believes NCH didn't have sex with her because at the time she lied.

My step-niece is seeing a therapist and does know that NCH did also break the law twice. The first was having sexual intercourse with a minor at fifteen a year less the age of consent. The second, he didn't report my brother' s activities to the police. NCH thought and probably still thinks he's above the law.

Years have gone by and I write blog about my thought on this matter. I would tell my step-niece to tell me if someone was sexually abusing her. I was afraid and still am afraid of what people do to children. She told me she remembers what I told her. She was crying. I really hope that she heals from what these men did to her. I know she doesn't care much for herself and hope that the love she has for her sister will be enough for her to heal.

I look at my life and think about how I would deal with this dilemma loving both my father and my half-sister. I think about a scenario if my father sexually abuse my sister and also my uncle sexually abused her and she only charged our father then what would I do. I think she would need to also charge our uncle too.

This is my story with this medicine man, or holy man or pervert or whatever name society wishes or places on his head. My niece is on her healing journey.From my understanding she is not the only child he sexually abused, I hope she is the one who will finally end his trail of destruction in our communities and if not her then some child who read this blog.

We have more to fear than fear itself

Years ago I was riding on a ferry from Manhattan to Staten Island and met a stranger who said he attended Sweats. The lady I was travelling with asked me if this offended me and I said no he has the right and freedom to do what he wants to do. This past week I ran into some strangers who ran Sundance. Again, I am reminded that they too have rights and freedoms to do what they feel like doing. Yes, I am of Sioux descendent and could easy say that they don’t know what it’s like to live on a Reserve or Reservation, but who am I?

There are far greater worries I face than worrying about who does what and why. There are many Aboriginal Peoples who practice Sweats and Sundance who have major mental health issues. Peoples are following them, protecting them from the law and some are arrested like my brother. About four years ago a Holy Man or so his followers called him came into my community. It’s been four years since my step-niece confessed of her lies. She told me this man; I will call him NCH slept with her. She was fifteen at the time. Yes, she lied that she didn’t disclose this to me to protect him. Why? He promised her he would take her as one of his wives.

At the time, I didn’t know his history with teen girls or his lack of responsibility to his ten children and their mothers. I didn’t know he was a clever business man who knew how to hide his financial holdings. So, when my niece claimed he bought her over a thousand dollars’ worth of clothing when he told me he had nothing, I questioned what was happening. My step-niece said he told her he loved her and that he didn’t have sex with his other girlfriends because he only had sex with her. It gets worse; he also had sex with three other fifteen year olds. He is still travelling with one who is now eighteen years old from here. There will be two charges against him once my step-niece retracts her statement. I reported her disclosure to the police. She lied at the time.

She lied because she also disclosed that my brother was having sex with her. Because she lied about NCH the police did not question him but they did question my brother and he confessed that he was having sex with his step-daughter. My brother and NCH had talked about my step-niece about taking her away. This is way my brother allowed NCH to have so much said over her. Buying her clothes, sending her text messages, having sex with her all with the plan that my brother would no longer have sex with her, she believed everything these two men said to her.

Until this past month she thought I blamed her because she didn’t have any contact with me. My brother is serving a four years sentence. NCH is still out there practicing Sweats and Sundance and gathering more teen girls to be his wives. NCH broke laws; first he didn’t report my brother and second, he had sex with a minor. My brothers’ promise to NCH went so far that he got arrested trying to get a passport for his step-daughter next. I told my niece what was the point of trying to get her into the U.S.A. when she was under the Provincial Governments care until she was eighteen years old. Now, she turning nineteen and has no hope of ever being NCH’s sixth wife. She realizes she was used along with my brother.

NCH used both of them to get money from our community. He took about $75,000.00 (approximately)from us over a two year period. He is banded from here and anyone who reports him to the police when they see him here can get him arrested. From what my niece reports is that she was not the only girl like I said there were three others. And, for the ten children that he’s behind child support payments there maybe more.

His five wives are like drug monkeys. Any money does not touch his hands when a big financial deal is made all money are handled by anyone of them. When a lawyer tries to bring evidence that he does make money nothing can be traced to him. In the meantime, his ten children get nothing and he continues getting his sexual appetite filled. No I don’t worry about men trying out Sweats or Sundance that are not aboriginal; however, I do have issue with actual medicine men or Holy Men of aboriginal descendant who used their own people against each other. This is what non-aboriginal peoples do not understand. The problem of ritual abuse was around from the beginning of time and will be here when I am six feet underground.

Its amazes me that people who are not of my culture continues to think that we are not sophisticated enough to have psychopaths in our communities. This NCH is Canadian, but an American and as you all know being an American means he can get away with this time of lifestyle there. We are traditional here meaning that we are not just Sioux but many tribes with the same mind set unlike the Americans who still cannot stop this man. I know that the police there are watching him. If there is one this I know about living in the State is they take Ritual Abuse seriously. We American Indians may not or maybe so poor that we cannot see NCH through his many disguises, yet some of us can.

Four years ago he lied to my brother and my step-niece, he took advantage of them. He made himself look like he was a Holy Man and that both were sinners. Each one trying to please this Holy Man trying to give him was he wanted. He could not give them what they needed just like he cannot give his children or his many wives what they want only what they need. He was like a personal disorder blooming into a psychopath here. Thank you!