Friday, 11 November 2011

What does it mean to be a victim?

My niece came to visit about six months ago asking to talk with her half brother and sister. Her sister stays with me. She's fourteen years old about the same age she was when her step-dad, my brother started sexually abusing her. It didn't seem at the time he was. All appeared as if my step-niece was promiscuous with boys her own age. It appeared that my brother wasn't able to help her. I thought however he's going to help her will take time. I thought talking to the boy's mom would help but I really didn't know what was happening to her at home.

About three years ago she was arrested for drug trafficking while my brother her step-dad was being sentenced. She was sixteen when she reported my brother and is now twenty-one. My brother will be out of jail in eleven months. My step-niece was told that the only way she could see her sister was with a therapist present. It's taken all these five years for the truth to come out.The children and of course myself have thought deeply about this situation.

It may appear clear to outsiders that we don't want her to be with her sister; however, there is more to this story then they understand. I've told my step-niece that I do not blame her nor have I ever. I told her I just want her to understand that she did something to protect another man. This man was a medicine man, or actor, or pervert acting like he was good. This man walked right into my brother's home.

My brother's twisted mind thought this medicine man was trying to help him.The medicine man told me my brother was very bad. Nothing more with the exception of my step-niece claiming this medicine man was constantly trying to be with her at activities like taking her to a concert. This struck me as oddsince he was also old enough to be her father.

It appears from all account from her that this man, NCH Chasing Horse had sexual intercourse with her. This medicine man would have my entire community believe that it was just my brother who had sex with her. From all accounts the medicine man's plans would have worked if not for the chance that my brother continued to have sex with his step-niece. The plan was that should my brother dedicate his life to the ways of the Sundance and Sweat lodge that meant following NCH Chasing Horse. My brother already raised about $50,000.00(approximately) towards NCH's way of life. NCH had a lot to lose if my brother decided not to follow him or his stepdaughter.

When NCH came to me he appeared determined to help my brother in all things. NCH spent all of his nights over there at my brothers. For months NCH knew my brother's secret and it seems from all the accounts from both my brother and my step-niece he was trying to them help them both. For my nieces he thought he loved her and had sex with only her and for my brother he thought he would gain much power over his way of life.

When this way of life then come immediately this is when NCH, who was inconstant contact with my step-niece via her cell phone told her to report my brother. She thought at the time she would be taken away as his wife as he had promised her. Instead, she was taken into our provincial child care until she was eighteen. She did try to go to him by associating herself with my other niece.This niece still believes NCH didn't have sex with her because at the time she lied.

My step-niece is seeing a therapist and does know that NCH did also break the law twice. The first was having sexual intercourse with a minor at fifteen a year less the age of consent. The second, he didn't report my brother' s activities to the police. NCH thought and probably still thinks he's above the law.

Years have gone by and I write blog about my thought on this matter. I would tell my step-niece to tell me if someone was sexually abusing her. I was afraid and still am afraid of what people do to children. She told me she remembers what I told her. She was crying. I really hope that she heals from what these men did to her. I know she doesn't care much for herself and hope that the love she has for her sister will be enough for her to heal.

I look at my life and think about how I would deal with this dilemma loving both my father and my half-sister. I think about a scenario if my father sexually abuse my sister and also my uncle sexually abused her and she only charged our father then what would I do. I think she would need to also charge our uncle too.

This is my story with this medicine man, or holy man or pervert or whatever name society wishes or places on his head. My niece is on her healing journey.From my understanding she is not the only child he sexually abused, I hope she is the one who will finally end his trail of destruction in our communities and if not her then some child who read this blog.