Friday, 11 November 2011

What does it mean to be a victim?


My niece came to visit about six months ago asking to talk with her halfbrother and sister. Her sister stays with me. She's fourteen years old aboutthe same age she was when her step-dad, my brother started sexually abusingher. It didn't seem at the time he was. All appeared as if my step-niece waspromiscuous with boys her own age. It appeared that my brother wasn't able tohelp her. I thought however he's going to help her will take time. I thoughttalking to the boy's mom would help but I really didn't know what was happeningto her at home.



About three years ago she was arrested for drug trafficking while my brotherher step-dad was being sentenced. She was sixteen when she reported my brotherand is now twenty-one. My brother will be out of jail in eleven months. Mystep-niece was told that the only way she could see her sister was with atherapist present. It's taken all these five years for the truth to come out.The children and of course myself have thought deeply about this situation.



It may appear clear to outsiders that we don't want her to be with hersister; however, there is more to this story then they understand. I've told mystep-niece that I do not blame her nor have I ever. I told her I just want herto understand that she did something to protect another man. This man was amedicine man, or actor, or pervert acting like he was good. This man walkedright into my brother's home.



My brother's twisted mind thought this medicine man was trying to help him.The medicine man told me my brother was very bad. Nothing more with theexception of my step-niece claiming this medicine man was constantly trying tobe with her at activities like taking her to a concert. This struck me as oddsince he was also old enough to be her father.



It appears from all account from her that this man, Nathan Chasing Horse hadsexual intercourse with her. This medicine man would have my entire communitybelieve that it was just my brother who had sex with her. From all accounts themedicine man's plans would have worked if not for the chance that my brothercontinued to have sex with his step-niece. The plan was that should my brotherdedicate his life to the ways of the Sundance and Sweat lodge that meantfollowing Nathan Chasing Horse. My brother already raised about $50,000.00towards Nathan's way of life. Nathan had a lot to lose if my brother decidednot to follow him or his stepdaughter.



When Nathan came to me he appeared determined to help my brother in allthings. Nathan spent all of his nights over there at my brothers. For monthsNathan knew my brother's secret and it seems from all the accounts from both mybrother and my step-niece he was trying to them help them both. For my nieceshe thought he loved her and had sex with only her and for my brother hethought he would gain much power over his way of life.



When this way of life then come immediately this is when Nathan, who was inconstant contact with my step-niece via her cell phone told her to report mybrother. She thought at the time she would be taken away as his wife as he hadpromised her. Instead, she was taken into our provincial child care until shewas eighteen. She did try to go to him by associating herself with my other niece.This niece still believes Nathan didn't have sex with her because at the timeshe lied.



My step-niece is seeing a therapist and does know that Nathan did also breakthe law twice. The first was having sexual intercourse with a minor at fifteena year less the age of consent. The second, he didn't report my brother'sactivities to the police. Nathan thought and probably still thinks he's abovethe law.



Years have gone by and I write blog about my thought on this matter. I wouldtell my step-niece to tell me if someone was sexually abusing her. I was afraidand still am afraid of what people do to children. She told me she rememberswhat I told her. She was crying. I really hope that she heals from what thesemen did to her. I know she doesn't care much for herself and hope that the loveshe has for her sister will be enough for her to heal.



I look at my life and think about how I would deal with this dilemma lovingboth my father and my half-sister. I think about a scenario if my father sexuallyabuse my sister and also my uncle sexually abused her and she only charged ourfather then what would I do. I think she would need to also charge our uncletoo.



This is my story with this medicine man, or holy man or pervert or whatevername society wishes or places on his head. My niece is on her healing journey.From my understanding she is not the only child he sexually abused, I hope sheis the one who will finally end his trail of destruction in our communities andif not her then some child who read this blog.